Apparently I'm a security threat

I'm baaaaaccccccckkkk!!

Not that I was missed or anything, but I'm back from CO just in case you cared. :-) So, as previously posted, the trasfer went well. I was on bed rest for a little over 48 hours and I was pretty sure that I was gonna go completely nuts if I had to stay in the bed for much longer!! Thankfully I have the best IP's in the world and they did all they could to make me as comfortable as possible; brought me food, magazines, word finds, movies, anything I needed!
It was freezing cold there...not that I got to go outside, but at least that's what the weather people said! :-) And it SNOWED!! Only for a little while, but it was so pretty! We don't get to see "real" snow in Texas often, so it was nice to be able to experience that.
Anywho, the real reason I wanted to post today is to tell you about my lovely adventures in airport security...
FIRST....I arrived at DFW, get to the security checkpoint and OF COURSE it just so happens that I'm "randomly" selected to go through an "extra screening process"...whatever...so the guy's like "ma'am please step inside this box"...ummm, ok this "box" is a large clear, plexiglass, kennel looking thing with one door to walk in and another to walk out. So I'm standing in the box and a security lady comes in and says "hold your hands out please", of course I say "why?" and she says "I'm going to swab your hands for explosive residue"...WTF!? What is this CSI or something!?...whatever...so while she's "swabbing my hands" I hear another security guy yell out "BAG CHECK!"...I look over and he's asking people if the bag in question was theirs and then I was like "oh that's mine!" (What a coincidence...whatever) ((mind you I'm still being "swabbed" so I kinda had to talk a little louder so he could hear me through the kennel...)) Anyway, the lady "clears" me of having any explosive residue and then I'm escorted over to the table to go through my bag and all was okay; I had just forgotten to take my liquids out to be scanned separately, so he put my stuff back through the machine and everything was fine. Then I was off to Denver...FML.

Fast forward to today... we got to the A/P in Denver and get to the security point...they of course have those damn body scan machines! I don't know how much you know about those machines, but after 48 hours on bed rest I'm well versed (thanks to the news) on the "unknowns" of body scan machines and they don't sound very safe ESPECIALLY for someone that may be pregnant!
It's supposed to be, once again, a "random" selection for people to have to either go through the regular metal detector or the body scanner, but I guess that my IM and I must have had the look on our faces that we had no plans on going through that damn machine, so OF COURSE the security lady "randomly" selects BOTH of us to go through it! We both refused. Ha! :-) So they get on their little walkie talkies "we have two females refusing the body scan at terminal blah blah blah..." Then they took us separately to get a "pat down" done! I had some lady that apparently didn't find joy in having to pat people down, boy was she Ms. Personality... she informs me that this is not a "regular" pat down, this is a thorough pat down that will go over my "sensitive parts"...WTF!?!? She says when she gets to my "sensitive parts" that she will use the back of her hand...as if that makes it any better. Whatever. So she starts rubbin' me down, and I basically got molested at the airport. Great. Thanks.
Apparently I must look like some sort of terrorist b/c I sure do get "randomly" selected more often than not... I just don't understand how people are still able to get through with dangerous items when they're all but taking you're first born at security! Oh! And speaking of first born, when my IM and I were done being fondled, we passed by this woman and her little baby that were also being screened by security and they had put the poor baby in one of those little bins that you put your shoes and stuff in so that they could check the baby! (Good Lord! Really, people!?) The kid couldn't have been any older than 2 months old. Just to give you a better visual, they put the baby in one of these...
 ...get real geniuses...

Anywho, we got through that mess and I made it back to Dallas...and now we wait!!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!
I'll leave you with a few funny airport cartoons I found...so sad....but SO TRUE...what has this world come to???