As many of you know I've had "the itch" since Baby L was probably a month old....no, not that kind of itch, get your minds back on track!
The surrogacy itch! I've contemplated back and forth on whether I want to do another journey or not and I've pretty much driven Kevin crazy with talking about it. So I'll just talk to you all this time! ☺
There are plenty of people that think I'm nuts for wanting to "go through it again", after having been sick for the first trimester and being on bed rest for 10 weeks. I understand, but what they don't understand is that I see the bigger picture. I see the struggles and heart break that the IPs have been through. I see the years of being told "no, you can't have a baby". So to me, being sick or the possibility of bed rest are small sacrifices for a greater good. Yes, I may complain and whine about it while I'm in the midst of it...Hell, most other people would too, but I know that it will pass and in the end there is indescribable joy.
So, after talking with Kevin for the bajillionth time, he finally said he'd be okay with me doing another journey!! Don't jump for joy just yet, that's just the first hurdle. (Albeit a big one)
This past Saturday I was invited by another surro to attend her agency's semi-annual luncheon, just so I could check out the agency and see if I really want to do this again. It was AWESOME! I'm not sure what I was expecting...cheese and crackers...a few surros...maybe the agency director...I didn't have high expectations after my shitty agency. It was WAY better than I expected; there were surros that are currently pregnant, surros that had already delivered, IFs, IP's, babies, 2 owners, 2 doctors...and a partridge in a pear tree. ☺ Seriously though, it was very well put together and needless to say, I was impressed and ready to sign a contract right then and there, lol. I met some great people and after I left I received an email saying that there were 2 sets of IPs as a possible match for me! WHAT!? Apparently I made a good impression at the luncheon. Ummm...yea....speechless. I wasn't expecting things to move quite as fast, I mean, I'm not even signed up with the agency yet!
So anyway, the one lingering question I have is: Is it selfish of me to do this again? Being a surrogate takes not only my own efforts, but that of my family as well. I don't want to be a burden, but I also want to do something that makes me feel fulfilled. Does that make sense?
Without getting even more wordy than I already have, what do you guys think? Should I just leave well enough alone and be happy that I was able to do it at least once or do I try for one last time?
I have no words
4 weeks ago